


the bird of happiness

by audkyrie



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Hospitalization, M/M, Medical Jargon, Medical Trauma, Mental Health Issues, Not Canon Compliant - New Dangan Ronpa V3, Psychological Trauma, Slow Burn, Unreliable Narrator, Virtual Reality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 02:43:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21190244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/audkyrie/pseuds/audkyrie
Summary: Season 53 of Danganronpa seems like it happened to another person. Danganronpa itself feels like a dream; nowadays, it's hard to remember that the Killing Game Simulation was ever an important piece of pop culture.In his day-to-day life, Shuichi Saihara no longer has to think about the spotless and the blackened, the survivors and the victims. Everyone has moved on to bigger and better things.Everyone, that is, except for one classmate.-post-canon, VR au. months after the fact, kokichi still remains in hospitalization. shuichi decides he can't stand idly by anymore.





	the bird of happiness

_“If you make a thousand paper cranes..."_

* * *

> ** _6/28_ **
> 
> Good evening.
> 
> It has been 179 days since Ouma Kokichi awoke from his medically induced coma. Nearly half a year has passed already…
> 
> Altogether, it has been — just shy of — eight months since the finale of Danganronpa. Disregarding myself, Yumeno-chan and Harukawa-san were the official survivors.
> 
> …writing that sort of paraphrase for every entry has become such a pain. My hand starts to cramp merely adding another day. This journal’s intent is to help keep me grounded, but I’m struggling thinking of any value.
> 
> Hm. Well, I’m continuing to exercise even though it’s gotten kind of lonely. I've switched to doing push-ups in my apartment rather than the gym. Harukawa-san is still in the throes of her legal dispute with Team DR, and until the case is done, her lawyer has advised her not to communicate with any other participants. I guess it gives her a reason to not concern herself with interpersonal relationships. It can't be helped, I suppose. 
> 
> From his emails, it sounds like Momota-kun is settling downtown pretty nicely. But, it wouldn’t be surprising if he wasn’t telling the whole truth. That last episode gave us all quite a shock. At least he's closer to the hospital. I’m glad he ended up taking Amami-san’s advice in the end.
> 
> Shinguji-kun hasn’t followed up with an update about his own move. I understand. It is an overseas departure, so he might be too jet-lagged to talk to anyone.
> 
> Regardless, I don’t think I’d even be the first one to know. He’d probably talk to Kaede, and she’s on one of her tours with Yumeno-chan. Apparently they’ve both gotten a really warm reception! I’ll have to keep an eye out for anyone uploading the concert. To report it, of course, if they don't want it public yet... but it was disappointing that I couldn't get time off to go see them. It couldn't hurt to have one more viewer, right?
> 
> Besides that, everything’s the same. Nothing interesting happened at work today. My life is so routine now, and I don’t know whether or not I prefer it that way. Waking up from the simulation had been hectic, and all of the ‘victims’ had to be hospitalized for months on end. But I can’t help but feel that… I miss when we were all together, even if it was in the medical ward.
> 
> Er. All of us except for one. Kokichi-kun hadn’t been awake, so maybe that doesn’t count after all. 

-

> ** _7/1_ **
> 
> Good morning.
> 
> It has been 182 days since Ouma Kokichi awoke from his medically induced coma. It’s also the first of July! My western friends tend to get busy during July, and I think they’ve told me that America has a huge celebration for their country during the first week. I’m not great with other countries’ festivals, so I can never remember. Not like I’ll tell them that, though.
> 
> There is one holiday I know. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to see Hoshi-kun in person, but Yonaga-chan reassured us that he got all of our regards. Including my letter; Hoshi-kun sent me a text saying the cat print made him smile. Yonaga-chan says she's going to take him to an art show and a fancy diner. A small birthday gift, the kind Hoshi-kun can't object to. I'm sure she'll send photos afterward. 
> 
> Onto my personal life, huh.
> 
> Over time, I’ve noticed that the beginning of the month is always hectic for the department. Something always tends to go wrong… It’ll be stressful, not having anyone to talk to during my bouts of insomnia plus the extra burden at work. So, I'll write these in the daytime before I have to leave. I may forget otherwise.
> 
> Oh, speaking of forgetting. Looks like I got side-tracked.
> 
> As of today, it has been a full eight months since the finale of Danganronpa. Disregarding myself, Yumeno-chan and Harukawa-san were the official survivors.
> 
> Eight whole months… thinking like that makes me reminisce. Initially, we had wanted to go out for a couple of drinks for the half-year anniversary, but were unable to because of Harukawa-san’s court case. We bump that plan for every month that passes. Of course, Harukawa-san’s busy but Kaede and Yumeno-chan’s return flight got delayed on top of that. A freak storm, I believe. Yumeno-chan let everyone know she was O.K on her social media, thankfully; the two of them are probably sleeping right now.
> 
> Maybe I’ll celebrate by myself. Sometime after work, I think. If there's anything unusual, I'll write another entry tonight, but I don't think that'll be the case. 

-

Downtown has such a stressful atmosphere. Shuichi blames it on there being too many bodies - too many breathing, warm bodies - crowding the sidewalk and the general energy and heat the streets radiate. Typically, he's able to tune out the business. He's usually able to ignore the sound of car horns and doesn't jump when someone abruptly bikes by him...

Yet now he's catching himself repeatedly looking over his shoulder.

_Did I take my medication when I woke up?_ Automatically he believes he did, as it is a part of his daily to-do-list and practically ingrained, but there's a smidgen of insecurity that makes him think he hadn't. _Great_, he frowns. _Not like I wanted to relax. Thank god I didn't call Hoshi-kun first thing..._

Skipping a dosage isn't necessarily the end of the world. Begrudgingly, it isn't the sole reason he's skittish; workplace politics has him frazzled. Sure, Shuichi had anticipated it this time around, but the stack of papers drains him. Better than people. Some higher-up is vaguely aware that he isn't good upon face-to-face interaction, thus Shuichi's job is to review cases and make important phone calls. He rarely moves from his cubicle, and he's normally the first to arrive and the first to leave.

His legs move without any thought. Before he knows it, a pair of electric doors are parting for him. The stillness of the hospital is a welcome change. His nose quickly stings, senses attuned and hyperaware of the bleach and miscellaneous sterilization that wafts through these halls. If it annoys anyone else, it's not evident; everyone is casually sitting around, flipping through the available magazines or tapping away at their handheld devices. 

Shuichi begins to head for the receptionist, but hearing a familiar name stops him in his tracks. 

“Unfortunately, Ouma-kun is still unable to have visitation at this time.”

And the last person he expected to see is standing aside the desk, absentmindedly scrolling through his phone.

Despite having not seen him in the flesh for over six months, Shuichi quickly recognizes that Rantaro Amami hasn't aged a day. If pressed, Shuichi could say that _maybe_ his skin was paler and _maybe_ Amami was having to apply more makeup than normal, but to the naked eye he looks healthy enough. Amami moves out of the way, thanking the attendant with a wave -

Aaaaaand they make eye contact. Fantastic. Lovely. By force of habit, Shuichi pulls his hat downward. 

“Amami-san,” he says, unable to keep the surprise out of his voice.

“Oh, if it isn’t Saihara-kun.” Ever polite, he quickly pockets his phone and extends out his hand for a small handshake. Shuichi’s seen videos of him fist-bumping or hugging some of their fellow classmates, but between them, they’re nowhere that level of familiarity. Nevertheless, Amami’s cheer is infectious and Shuichi finds himself smiling back.

Which is strange, because the next thing Amami says is, “What’s the matter? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

_Do I?_ Shuichi blinks, the grin fading from his face. “Uhm, well, you’re usually out traveling somewhere, so I didn’t think…”

For a split second, Amami’s expression darkens. But it's gone as fast it had come; Shuichi sighs a little to himself, seeing once again that Ouma-kun and Amami-san shared that weird ability to suppress emotions. Albeit, that isn’t his original deduction.

Although Shuichi would never admit to such a thing, he had done some internet digging and came across quite a few think pieces about their season. Thus, he had his own thoughts alongside a _lot_ of online speculation of what the Ouma-Amami relationship would’ve been like had Amami-san survived any longer. Appearance-wise, their Danganronpa selves were direct inverses, and they easily slid into the uncanny valley territory. 

Suspicion and malice embodied. 

“That's a fair point. But, follow me, I think we're holding some people up.” Shuichi startles, and Amami isn't wrong; nobody is regarding them with disdain, exactly, but Shuichi is indeed a barrier between a handful of others getting to the front of the line. The pair exits swiftly, pointedly ignoring any - uh, civilians who are eager to voice their recognition. It's a blessing that the die-hard fans are harder to come by.

Once they've directed themselves to somewhere more private, Amami's looks uncertainly to the street. Eventually, his hand digs through his pocket and withdraws a lighter and a pack. That's new. “You smoke?”

“I try not to,” Shuichi answers honestly. Amami shrugs, and pops the cigarette in between his teeth without lighting it. “When did that start?”

“Shortly after I was released." With his free hand, Amami gestures towards his temple, "I've found that helps with the headaches." Belatedly, Shuichi realizes that the hardness in Amami's tone is that of decisiveness. _Don't ask about it_. Somehow, he manages not to offer up that Kaede gets chronic headaches as well. Of all people, it had to be those two. 

Their conversation falters to a comfortable silence. Amami smoking, with Shuichi very nearby. It should make his stomach churn. Nonetheless the stench is light, better than the keen familiarity of heavy antiseptic. Shuichi has the same kneejerk reaction to the pastel blue of scrubs. 

“Hey. Can you keep a secret? And a promise."

"Uh, depends on what kind of promise."

"Hah. Well, Saihara, don't tell him as it'll feed his ego, but I'm actually here to see Ouma-kun. You?”

Shuichi feels himself relax, the tension releasing from his shoulders. “…the same.”

Amami leans against the wall, easily resting upon it. He taps the end of his cigarette, thoughtful. “Mm. I’m not surprised, this hospital’s pretty far removed from the rest of our group. If I’m recalling right, that Momota-kun did move further into the city.”

“Towards the beginning of last month, yeah.”

“That’s good. I’m glad. I've noticed he has a stubborn streak.”

It surprises them both when Shuichi responds with a curt, _says you_. Amami's eyes widen, and Shuichi feels his tongue dry. Within an instant, they're laughing, Amami clutching at his side and Shuichi's nervous chuckles quickly turn enuine. 

“You got me. That was kind of the whole point, actually. The receptionist, she’s a friend of my sister’s. I was hoping that seeing a familiar face might soften her up a bit, but what a shame.”

“Eh?”

Amami-san regards him lazily. “I was asking her about Ouma-kun. Trying to fill in pieces of the puzzle. She’s as tight-lipped as the rest of them, which is assuming she knows much about him at all.”

"Patient confidentiality is important," he quips. If anything, Amami is more amused than insulted at his retort. Neither want to address the underbelly of _why_, of why in particular it's so important that Ouma-kun's status remains private. Danganronpa has that effect. No one wants to name it, but its influence can't be denied. 

In lieu of a response, Amami jokes, "Ouma-kun is probably peeved at us all. He's going to be mad when he finds out it's been this long without anyone coming to see him."

Shuichi's eyebrow raises. "Do you _want_ to evoke a reaction out of him?" 

"I would never." He digs the lit cigarette into the wall, and dusts his hands clean of the ash. "I do have to head back, but it was nice seeing you, Saihara-kun. We should keep in touch."

"I'll try," and Shuichi offers him his hand. Amami-san's expression morphs into one of uncertainty, and instinctively Shuichi draws back. Amami placatingly shakes his head; he puts his palm in front of Shuichi's face. Still ashy. "Oh. Sorry, Amami-san." 

"Don't worry about it. Next time we see each other, at the reunion, I won't smoke so we can share goodbyes properly. Fair?" 

He echoes. "Fair. _Kae_," Shuichi coughs, suddenly. It's artificial, obvious, but wow does that ring so inappropriate aloud. Embarrassment heats his face and Amami must be restraining himself to not comment on it. "Akamatsu-chan has you listed down, then." 

"Nah. I'm just going to crash the party. In Ouma-kun's spirit, of course." 

"- you scared me. Don't tell Ouma-kun you're taking away his idea of a grand entrance..." 

Again, they share a laugh. Why _don't_ they interact more? Likely because Shuichi's anxious exterior isn't mellowed out by someone so, for lack of a better word, eerie. Somehow, when Amami-san's intensity doesn't send chills down Shuichi's spine, he can be relaxing. Everyone praises Amami's good looks until they're intimate, so perhaps the key is not see him in person.

That could just be Shuichi's paranoia. 

Quietly, Amami-san leaves, parting with an explanation that he's about to head further into the heart of the city - the opposite direction. More likely than not, he's enjoying a temporary stay at the hotels there. Classic rural versus urban, and Shuichi feels the difference of their livelihoods strongly resound within him the moment he gets on his outbound bus, towards home.

It's a long route. Shuichi comes home to a twilight sky.

Dinner is a two-minute microwavable soup, and he irons his uniform for tomorrow before bed. He checks his phone before slipping underneath the covers, clearing it of notifications - Yonaga-chan did upload the photos from the diner, and unsurprisingly they both look out-of-place, but happy - and refreshing his daily schedule for tomorrow. As is routine, he sets a water bottle on the dresser and dry swallows two pills to coax his body into sleep.


End file.
